Dirrrty Pop Review: T4 On The Beach

Better late than never, here is my review of Pop T4 On The Beach from last Sunday.

Kaiser Chiefs
They sang Every Day I Love You Less And Less and I Predict A Riot (which they are predictably re-releasing soon), but where was Oh My God? Ricky is not a great singer but the songs are great and he has stage presence and personality. Hurrah for boys in pink glasses!

Since when were Madness back? And why are they singing these random songs about incest and illegitimacy, rather than any of their hits?

This show is very indie so far. I think Athlete were on the first ever Pop Beach, in the days before it literally lost it’s ‘pop’. Aren’t Athlete due a new single soon? Half Light was ages ago. The singer obviously thinks he’s a star now cos his glasses are too big for his face. Ah, here is the next single. It’s the album’s title track, Tourist. It’s not that great but nice enough.

Their new single is quite a nice ballad, but reminds me a bit of Robbie Williams. They keep getting all rocky then ruining it by releasing the soppiest ballads around. The drummer has long hair now, I didn’t recognise him! Come Get Some still sounds good – if only their other songs had been of the same standard, then I’d be a fan.

Let Me Love You still sounds fantastic, even with Mario’s breathy live singing (yet he’s still probably the best singer so far). I know it’s wrong but I love this song. Why did he just say Here I Go Again is his second single? It’s his fourth! I do like the bit that sounds like 5ive.

They had a no.1 album?? I never even noticed. They are so rubbish and boring. Hurry up Rachel Stevens!

It gets WORSE! If you think I’m watching this, you are officially insane. I’m off to find a very cold drink since it is boiling today.

Daniel Bedingfield
Poor D-Bed! He can’t sing any of his hits because he’s already done them all at previous Pop Beaches. One year he was the finale, now he’s barely any more important than the indie nobodies in the line-up. Lets hope he gets some better singles for album three, because as much as I liked Second First Impression, it didn’t have any standout obvious singles.

Bobby Valentino
I’m ashamed to say this song is growing on me a bit. Its still r’n’b though and we do not need any more of that. How about a Steps cover for the next single?

This song is so overrated and really not that clever.

Lemar seems to have got really big in the past few months. I know so many people in ‘real life’ who love him. He may be a bit ‘urban’ and his last album was a bit dull, but I still think he’s great because he is the only leftover of Fame Academy.

They played their new single and what a surprise, it sounds just like I Like The Way! The singer hit himself with the microphone – hilarious!

Rachel Stevens
AT LAST! Someone good! So good, even! She looks lovely with plaited hair extentions and the dance routine is fab but considering how often she mimes you’d think she’d be better at it by now. Hang on, what?! Only 1 song? This is so wrong!

I do like Garbage and we can never have too many feisty redheads in pop. Sex Is Not The Enemy is definitely not as good as Why Do You Love Me, which sound phenomenally ace today.

Boring! I’m going on an ice cream hunt…

Tony Christie
The finale, hurrah! I thought it would never come.

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