Here are my thoughts, song by song, written as I watched!
Montenegro
Is this an ode to Lordi? It’s quite catchy actually. Will being the top frienemies of the host go in their favour or against them? 5
Israel
A ballad by a male solo singer, which is quite atmospheric and actually I rather like it. He’s got a good voice… I think? It’s hard to tell in such a different language. The end is rather rousing too. Things aren’t going too badly so far, but I can’t imagine either one as a winner. 8
Estonia
This is genuinely hilarious. Very colourful and endearing. I love it! 10
Moldova
This seems to be someone’s mum wandering around the stage clutching a teddy bear. Very odd. The first song of the night sung in English… well I think it is, anyway – it’s hard to tell really. 3
San Marino
It seems that not only have San Marino never been in Eurovision before but they’ve never seen it – don’t they know that Eurovision is about having a laugh? This is way too serious. And rubbish. Not a good way to begin their Eurovision career! 2
Belgium
Not content with a choice of French or Flemish, they’ve invented a whole new language. I suppose to most of us in the West, this makes as much sense as last year’s winner, but that’s kind of not the point. This is terribly annoying, and the singer looks like one of those strawberries and cream sweets (the TV later reminds me they’re called Campinos!). Belgium were once amazing, entering the likes of Kate Ryan – what went wrong? 3
Azerbaijan
Now here’s someone making an effort to make their first entry memorable – what a spectacle! Silver hair, sheep singing, crazy laughing… angel wings! Bah (or, more fittingly, baa!) to simplicity. Fans of Lordi will love it. Scary but great to watch – not convinced by the song, though. 7
Slovenia
This futuristic one seems to be aimed at the whole universe, not just Europe, and with 43 entries this year, she can be forgiven for thinking she needs to appeal to residents of Mars and Jupitus as well as Moldova and Armenia. Then it moves into a summer jolly-fest with rollerskates! This one’s got everything. Not a very good song but I enjoyed the performance anyway. 6
Norway
OOH! is about all I took away from that one. They do have a nice line in oohs. That’s about it. Wasn’t this supposed to be their answer to Amy Winehouse? Slightly lacking in personality if so. 8
Poland
Terrible. Poland was such a nice country when I visited, and they have great music in their charts, so there’s no excuse for this. Perhaps all their good singers have moved to the UK. 2
Ireland
Stinking of desperation. This may be even more embarrassing than Daz and his schoolgirls. It IS more funny, though. Irlande n’est pas douze points! 4
Andorra
Yay, it’s my favourite! Like Steps meets A*Teens. But what is on her head??? Looks like Christina Aguilera i.e. a great big tart, rather disappointing as she seemed so sweet on the song before I saw her. It’s still lovely, but not a good performance. Not gonna win, sadly. Quite a mess. 10
Bosnia & Herzegovina
Need tips on how to make a boring song exciting? Just look at this performance! It’s insane, quite disturbing in fact, but you certainly take notice! Look at that skirt… and what are the knitting brides there for? 6
Armenia
I wonder which Kelly this is aimed at? Clarkson? Rowland? Matthew? In fact it’s spelt Kele, so presumably the one from Bloc Party, who certainly does not deserve a song about him on Eurovision. It’s almost quite good, but there have been so much better similar ones before. This is surely no Number One – maybe a Touch My Fire… just. 7
Netherlands
Another Turkish wannabe, and in fact she probably is from somewhere around there originally. Quite catchy, but not something I’ll be rushing off to listen to again. I’m feeling that this year may be plentiful in comedy moments, but apart from Andorra and Sweden there’s nothing worth a place in any singles chart. 7
Finland
The novelty of being a Finnish metal band has already been used up, but I guess there’s not much else Finland can do. It’s not good to my ears, but I suppose a metal fan may feel differently. I’ll have to ask one. I have done, and he says it’s crap too, so that’s that sorted. Bye Finland! 2
Romania
Singing partly in Italian, in typically random Eurovision style. Very boring, but mum’s might like it. Could be any other Italian ballad, as far as I can tell the difference, although the girl singer makes it a bit more crazy. Not crazy enough though – try harder next time! 3
Russia
Dima is back – he was brilliant 2 years ago, but he’s got too much to live up to and this is nowhere near as good as Never Let You Go or even Lady Flame or It’s Not That Simple. He’s a great popstar and the song is far from terrible, but he’s capable of so much more. Still quite cute, though. 9
Greece
Another proper pop song. I didn’t like it before, but after all this rubbish I’m feeling more lenient. It’s no Number One, but not too bad. I might listen to it again. Well, I wouldn’t turn it off anyway. 12 (just cos someone’s got to get it)
My favourites? Greece, Bosnia and Estonia. I predict they’ll be through, along with Azerbaijan, Armenia, Russia and… I don’t know! Whoever else is popular in the East at the moment. Since I only learn about European politics from Eurovision anyway, I’m not much use in this area. Let’s wait and see – I’m sure it’ll be a big surprise anyway.
Edit: The surprise was that there wasn’t a surprise! I got 6 of my 7 predictions right, only Estonia didn’t go through.