Now I really DO NOT want to go back to England

I just checked the UK charts, hoping to find someone who might challenge Leon for the Xmas no.1. You can imagine how surprised I was to find that no.1 is Katie Melua (what is she doing infecting the singles chart? she’s an album artist!), and not just that but she has gained this by duetting with a dead person. Surely there is something morally wrong with using a dead person to get yourself a no.1 single? Just because Elton John got away with it does not mean she should. What with that horrible Soulja Boy single at no.3, I think I’m going to have to be dragged kicking and screaming onto the ferry on Thursday. I’ve come to expect the charts to be rubbish in December, but a song with the lyrics “I’m jocking on yo bitch ass” is not exactly bringing the Christmas cheer, is it? Although I suppose “haterz get mad cos I got me some Bathing Apes” could represent the bit where you meet up with your friends afterwards to show off what you got from Santa.

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