Tonight, as I’m sure you will know, is the X Factor final and I reckon it could go any way. Will it be…

Shane, who managed to make Unchained Melody, one of my most hated songs of all time (and who can blame me when both Gareth Gates and Clay Aiken have sung it) quite bearable last week.

Journey South, who have improved throughout the competition and are jolly nice blokes.

or Andy, who is a boring idiot and should just go home now.

It’s a 2/3 chance of success. Don’t let me down, British public!

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