The 5th Most Poptastic Single of 2009
Erik Hassle – Don’t Bring Flowers
Released: 20th August
Trivia: Many people have wondered if Erik Hassle is pretty enough to be a popstar, but he’s actually been signed him up to model for a new fashion campaign!
Best bits: 1. When I’m gone, who are you to mourn? No, don’t touch me when I’m lying in my coffin, don’t stand there crying as you’re watching
2. Don’t bring flowers after I’m dead, save your givings for the living instead
3. ‘Cos you’re running me in circles, I’m running out of breath, but you ain’t gonna stop ’til there’s nothing left.
The 4th Most Poptastic Single of 2009
Jada – American Cowboy
Released: 31st March
Trivia: Jada’s second single, Break Up Song, has to be the biggest disappointment of the year. They went from RedOne-helmed pop perfection to a limp mush that even the Pussycat Dolls would pass over.
Best bits: 1. I know, you know, I’m sexy. What would you do, would you sacrifice it all for me?
2. Hold up, wait a minute, let me put my Jada to it!
3. Max out your pocket and if you wanna rock it, add my name to your house title, baby I don’t settle for little
The 3rd Most Poptastic Single of 2009
Jordin Sparks – Battlefield
Released: 6th July
Trivia: Jordin has been duetting with a number of her fellow Idols recently, including Guy Sebastian and Kevin Borg. Will Joe McElderry be next?
Best bits: 1. I guess you better go and get your armour, GET YOUR ARMOUR! (etc)
2. I don’t want this love to feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield?
3. I never meant to start a war, you know I never wanna hurt you
The 2nd Most Poptastic Single of 2009
Måns Zelmerlöw – Hope & Glory
Released: 4th March
Trivia: According to Wikipedia, Måns enjoys football. So, he’s not totally perfect, then 🙁
Best bits: 1. Doooon’t stoooop! I’m still standing for hope and glory, I’ll be fighting for my love story
2. I’m gonna be right there, yeah I’m gonna be right there… don’t! stop!
3. All the battles I lost and the battles I won, this will be the one, this will be the one
Why should a popstar be based solely on looks? No wonder we have so many “pretty” people with no talent that always have songs on the radio.